Author: Ruth Clampett
Publisher: Self Published
Release Date: March 9, 2017
Genre(s): Gay love, college students, best friends to lovers, sexual abuse, closeted, mild BDSM, mild self harm, secrets
Page Count: 310 pages
Reviewed by: Natosha
Heat Level: 5 flames out of 5
Rating: 5 stars out of 5
Would you live a lie to hold onto the one you love?
Dean and Jason are best friends, like brothers since boyhood, now architecture students and college roommates. They’ve always had each other’s back, but when one walks in on the other with another man, everything changes. How do you explain to your best friend that he’s the one you’ve always wanted, that until now your life has been a lie?
Desperation and shame are two dirty words that run through Jason’s veins. He carries the scars from a wayward priest who stole his innocence and left him shattered. Meanwhile for years he’s watched Dean pursuing woman after woman, as his own heart slowly breaks.
When their world blows apart, they learn the powerful bond between them has more fire than either understood. Can two broken souls find the light in their darkness and come together to make a whole, or will sins of the past be forever unforgiven?
This standalone is a M/M love story with graphic sex. Trigger warning.
What an emotional roller coaster this book took me on. Grab a box of tissues because you are definitely going to need it for his read. TRIGGERS TO SEXUAL ABUSE BY A PRIEST, DEPRESSION, AND SOME SELF HARM.
Jason and Dean have been best friends for as long they can remember. Not only are the best friends but they also have the dream of opening their own architecture firm togther after college. They are college roommates and share pretty much every secret they have with each other or so Dean thought they did. Once he learns that Jason has been hiding a major secret from him it throws Dean into a talke spin and everything he thought he knew about Jason is now in question.
Jason did not mean for Dean to learn his secret about liking men from walking in on Ramon giving him a blow job but now that the cat is out of the bag Jason does not know how to deal with Dean. Jason has more secrets that he has not shared with Dan and if he can help he never will either. One being he is in love with Dean and has been for years. The other is much worse, Dean can never find out about Father Ryan did to him for two years starting at a very young age or he may lose Dean forever and he can’t risk that.
After Dean finds sees Jason with Ramon he cannot quit thinking about Jason and what he saw. Worse yet he keeps getting hard because of it. The longer things pass after the incident the more things start to take a new turn for Dean and Jason. Some of it is not so nice and others is. Wry confusing to Dan. Eventually they get to a point where Dean cannot deny that he wants to try something hinges with Jason and see what it feels like and if he likes it.
Before either man even realizes it theyfind themselves in a relationship with one another even though Dean is definitely not calling it that at first because even though he is completely and utterly attracted to Jason and loves what they do to each other and with each other, he is still having a hard time accepting it about himself.
It takes some major jealousy and a near death experience forboth Dean and Jason to finally admit to the feelings they are having to each other and eventually others.
The one thing that continues to take a toll on them is the fact that Jason has to face his demons of his past and stand up to the man who molested him at a young age and help to make him pay for the things he did to not only Jason but other boys also. Jason needs to figure out for himself that standing up to that monster will take back the power that was taken away from him and will help him to learn to cope with his past. Dean is there to make sure he does and that he has his back through all of it.
This story was such a good story with some parts that made me want to smack either one or both of the main characters of the story for their stupidity. Then there was other parts that broke my heart for the horrible things that Jason went through. I was enraged on his behalf and heartbroken for him a the same time. I can say that I was definitely thrilled when Dean and Jason finally got their crap togther about how they felt about the other because it was apparent from the beginning that they where definitely two halves that made a whole. Like I said earlier when you read this book be ready for an emotional roller coaster and have the tissues handy. Because it is definitely a book that will have you in tears several times through the read. Ruth Clampert definitely did an incredible job writing this book. I could not have been easy too do so. I look forward to reading more by this author in the near future after this book that is for sure.
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