Guardian Angel of South Beach

Title: Guardian Angel of South Beach
Author: Neil Plakcy
Buy link: Amazon.com
Genre: Contemporary M/M
Length: Novella (90 PDF pages)
Rating: 3 stars out of 5

THE  BLURB

Despite regular work-outs, out-of-shape computer geek Leo can’t build the body he dreams of.  Then he meets a strange old man who mixes up some magic pills, and Leo’s body blossoms. But  even though he’s developing a killer body and having lots of great sex, he’s not happy, until  he begins to change his personality, too. Can becoming The Guardian Angel of South Beach,  protecting the weak, weird, and drunk from predators, make him happy and help him hook up  with Dan, the man of his dreams?

THE REVIEW

Leo is a self described computer geek.  He works out at a gym in South Beach, goes to the  popular gay clubs, and gets sex, but not with the muscle hunks he dreams about.  He hears one of the hunks at his gym describe a mysterious Cuban man named Pedro and his ‘magic’ pills. These pills can make you bigger everywhere.  Leo discounts the story, but is desperate enough to look up this man.  Unbelievably, Pedro is for real, and in exchange for giving him oral and anal sex, Leo goes home with some pills. Pedro told him one a week so Leo pops the first pill when he gets home. Since it is Friday he goes to his favorite club and scores a fairly hot guy. They have sex and Leo feels different, more muscular and able to have better sex.

As the weeks go by, Leo is becoming the muscular sexy stud he has always dreamed about but though the sex keeps getting hotter with ever hotter men, something is missing.  He wants more than just a one night stand here and there – he wants a relationship.  Maybe the guy who serves him his coffee at the local coffee house, Dan.  But Leo is shy with Dan, until Leo rescues him from some would-be carjackers.  This is not a lucky happenstance for Dan; Leo has become a sort of one man vigilante, helping would-be victims of crime in South Beach, and he was ‘on patrol’ when he beat up the carjackers.  Do these two men find romance?

This book is barely a romance.  Leo wants a partner for more than just random sex, but this desire is overshadowed through most of the story by his desire to be more muscular and attract that elusive ‘hot’ guy.  The first scene takes place in the locker room of Leo’s gym and he desires Ray, the big, blond, muscle stud with the enormous cock.  But Leo is out of Ray’s league.  No matter how much time he spends in the gym and how correct his diet, his body just never responds.  So, Leo listens with interest to the story about the
magic pills.  The story is predictable here.  Pedro exists and in exchange for some good ole sex, Leo gets the pills and eventually gets the muscles and dick he has always wanted.

I would have thought that Leo and Ray would hook up, but this scene doesn’t get written. There is plenty of sex, way more than I’m used to in the books I normally review for the site. I’m not complaining, I like sex scenes, but the frequency and randomness didn’t add to this story. And once Leo gets the guys, the body, and dick, he finds that his life is still empty.  He happens upon a helpless gay man being beaten in an alley and jumps into the fray and kicks some bad guy ass.  This seems to be something that just happens.  Leo hasn’t given this any previous thought and I was left wondering how Leo knew how to fight.  The story doesn’t say and there aren’t any accounts in the newspaper about the mysterious defender of gay men.  That would have been a nice subplot.

I’m wondering if this story shouldn’t have a part 2.  This was just a 90 pound weakling growing up to turn the tables on the school yard bully and win the girl, I mean the guy. And then part two is where the romance happens.  We’ll see.

The story is well written.   The words flow easily and Leo is well developed.  But magic pills?  Come on.  I want that address to Pedro’s magic shop.

Author

I’m a single gay male, 46 years old and I farm and ranch in Texas.

7 comments

  • This story rubbed me the wrong way from the beginning and it never recovered. The hero just wasn’t a likable guy. He was obsessed with looks, enormous c*cks and refused to work hard or give up his snacks in order to achieve a better body. That just doesn’t fly for me. And the end, sheesh, he knows what Pedro demands in return for the pills and yet what he recommends is just incomprehensible to me and ruined the romance. Your review was very kind. Just sayin’.

  • Oh, John, I don’t want to sound like I’m ragging you – when you review a book, it’s not only your right but your duty to say what you think of it. And I have to say, it sounds like this one just didn’t work. I have hardly read everything of Neil’s – but I just wanted to suggest you try something else of his before you write him off completely. He can be awfully good when he’s at his best – of course, none of us are all the time. Remind me sometime to tell you about a couple of my dogs. No, on second thought…

  • Hey Victor, thanks for defending the author. This is the first story of his that I’ve read and it might work for someone else.

    JOHN

  • Well, Neil is a really good writer, so I’m surprised this didn’t work better – and I have to quickly add, I have not read it. But I have said often, only the mediocre artist is always at his best. Neil is the kind of writer to take chances, try on new shoes. When you do that, it’s just inevitable, sometimes things don’t work. Don’t let this turn you off from his other work – his Mahu series, for instance – now those are really good.

  • I agree Buda. The plot is one of those easy ones like I said in the review. But I really think one of the sex scenes should have been between Leo and Ray. Leo had plenty of sex partners, but a scene in the gym showers or steam room would have been a good addition. And it wasn’t said that Ray had taken the ‘magic pills’…….would have been another good subplot. For a sex novel……….grin

  • Interesting review, John. This book sounds just bizarre. I think I’ll give this one a pass.

    It’s boring to see the BCS (Big Cock Syndrome) is still alive and well. Can someone please tell the publishers that not all gay men are size queens?

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