Title: My Horrible Gay Dating Life
Author: Dimitrius Jones
Publisher: Self Published
Release Date: December 1, 2017
Page Count: 99
Reviewed by: Kristin
Heat Level: 0 flames out of 5
Rating: 2.5 stars out of 5
Navigating the world of dating is hard. Having a gay dating life is even harder. While waiting for his new romantic interest to arrive at the coffee house, Dimitrius decides to dig deep into his past to see where it all went wrong. What follows is a trip down memory lane full of outrageous encounters with cheating boyfriends, family drama, and a grown man who likes to wear diapers.
Realizing nearly every relationship he’s been on has ended in catastrophe, Dimitrius devises a plan to properly manage his latest romantic-fling-turned-tragedy. He wants to become a better person and meet better people. The problem is he’s only got until the end of his next date to figure out what to do next.
Do you think your dating life is bad? Think again.
Premise of the book is fairly close to the blurb: Dimitrius is waiting for his current boyfriend at Starbucks, because “They need to talk”. While waiting, he reviews all his past crushes, love interests, and boyfriends starting from the tender age of about 11 or 12, each chapter devoted to turning point – a different boy – in his life.
This was, honestly, depressing.
If that was what the author was aiming for, he succeeded.
I was hoping there would be some humor mixed in, somewhere, anywhere, but if there was it was drowned in whichever loser was cheating or lying to Dimitrius at that particular moment and I missed it.
After a while, the chapters became somewhat repetitive – Dimitrius meets a boy, refuses to fall in love with the boy (because “Love” is something that happens to other people and he’s had his heart ripped to shreds enough), boy cheats on Dimitrius, Dimitrius channels his Ice Queen and tells boy to go to Hell.
If there were some funny anecdotes, moments of humor, anything to lighten the mood, I probably could have bumped up the rating, but as the chapters progressed, the stories came across as critical, whining, with numerous instances of the “Ice Queen” making an appearance, and eventually, just sad.
And I don’t know if this was a formatting issue, but there were a lot of missing “L’s”. Really = real y, stil, yel, etc. It was almost like the “L” key wasn’t working consistently on the author’s keyboard. Or, again, maybe a formatting thing between mobi and epub or some other online self publishing software?
So, I’m sorry, but this story didn’t work for me. Perhaps other readers will be able to relate more to the trials and tribulations of dating and get more out of the book than I.