I was going to write a serious post today but this was so hilarious that I decided to run this joint post instead (with permission) because I know that not everyone who drops by this site visits Jen’s and Kris’s blogs and vice versa.
As you know, my friends Jenre and Kris have wicked senses of humour and they also love to read M/M. Since they have all the free time in the world they decided to diagnose the signs of true love (or as they call it, twu wuv) in M/M books, and they posted this intriguing guide to M/M Twu Wuv. Authors beware, this may cause you to change your ways and your entire writing style.:) M/M readers, this may give you your best laugh this week. So here goes:
Jenre: Ah yes. Twu wuv.
That moment when you realise that the vague feelings you were experiencing towards this other person is actually a full on forever and ever and hearts and bunnies and flowers and growing old together feeling. Awww. Isn’t it cute?
However, for the discerning reader of m/m, certain clues can be picked up throughout a book which flags up instantly that the two heroes are destined for twu wuv. So my good buddy Kris from ‘Kris n Good Books’ and I have come up with a list of these clues so you, the reader, may never again be unsure that the heroes in your m/m books are destined to be together.
Kris: “Twuuuuuuu Wuvvvvvv.” Yes, we all know this is something the mostly dead Westley moaned about Buttercup, but what would he have said or done or thought if it was Inigo Montoya who was his soul mate? Ever thought of that? Really, you haven’t?? But what about all the thrusting, etc in their sword fight scene? It fair sizzled with sexual tension and BDSM overtones. Maybe it’s just me again. *sigh*
Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. Twu wuv. So my mate Jenre from ‘Well Read’ and I put together this list of warning signs when reading m/m to either prepare yourself or avoid altogether that sickly sweet, sugar rush feeling. Aww, who am I kidding, we… well, most of us… get warm and steamy when we realise that the heroes were meant for forever-style lovey doveyness. That’s why we read romance after all. *g*
So, here it is. Our Top 25 “You know it’s Twu Wuv whens…”:
1. He can swallow your enormous cock down to the root without gagging
2. You’re a top and he’s a natural bottom
3. Having sex instantly heals you of all psychological problems
4. You go from manslut to insta-fidelity
5. You feel compelled to get a wash cloth and clean him up after sex
6. You cuddle after sex even though you usually hate the cuddling stuff
7. You stop trolling the bars and want to stay at home and watch TV with him
8. You swallow when it’s always something that you’ve refused to do before
9. All of a sudden you’re insisting he go bareback when it’s always been a thing that someone (unsuccessfully) has tried to get you to do in the past
10. Although you’ve always been a top/bottom before, you are willing to switch for him for the rest of your life
11. You want to come out of the closet for him and shout your love to the four corners of the world
12. He’s the only man that you’ve ever wanted to have sex with
13. Even though you prefer doggy style you want to do it missionary so you can watch his face while he/you fuck you/him
14. You can come a gazillion times in one night without suffering the effects of severe dehydration
15. Body modification suddenly becomes a way of proving your devotion
16. And so does purchasing stock in Crisco
17. You have the longest, hardest orgasm of your life the first time you have sex (and on every subsequent occasion)
18. You’re a Dom and he has a, hitherto undiscovered, desire to be a sub
19. The fact that he wears women’s underwear turns you on even though you’ve never liked it in your men before
20. Developing a taste for rosebuds, especially after bareback sex, is your new favourite fetish
21. The fact that he is technically dead is a big turn on
22. Even if you haven’t seen him for years you fantasise about him whilst having sex with other men
23. You’ve known him for 2 days and yet you are prepared to quit your job and move to the other side of the country to be with him
24. When you meet again after 5-15 years of separation following a Big Misunderstanding, family interference and/or amnesia you realise that you’ve never stopped loving him despite having 3 long term relationships and countless hook-ups in the interim
25. You come simultaneously