What Not To Wear

Title: What Not To Wear
Author: Clare London
Buy link: Amazon.com (Second Edition)
Genre: Contemporary M/M
Length: short story (11K words, 50 PDF pages)
Rating: 4 stars out of 5

Summary Review: Doug’s and Beckett’s sexual shenanigans are out of control at work, which eventually led to the most natural conclusion. But there was a lot of fun along the way.


Beckett and Doug work together, travel together, live together… play together. And they’re easily distracted by their desires, wherever they happen to be. The work week starts normally for the newly promoted Beckett, but that’s soon disturbed by his lover’s sexual provocation. As each day of the week passes, Doug’s behavior, and the slogan on his T-shirt, gets increasingly outrageous. Add in his equally outrageous libido and the two men’s fascination for sex in risky places, and their career prospects are soon completely out of control!


The first thing you need to know about this book is that there’s a lot of sex going on between the covers. So much sex that I would say it’s probably Clare London’s sexiest book. If that turns you off you may need to rethink whether this is the book for you. On the other hand, if you like mucho action between the sheets then you have come to the right place, or book. The second thing I found out is that Clare has the most incredibly ribald sense of humour which was evident throughout this book, making me laugh out loud in between the smexxin.

Doug and Beckett worked together, which was not a good thing considering that they couldn’t keep their hands off each other in the workplace. Doug was the more adventurous initially but later in the story I thought that he had rubbed off on Beckett so much that it was hard to tell who was egging on whom. On their first morning at work after Beckett’s big promotion to VP of Sales for the Eastern Region, Doug celebrated by wearing one of his trademark tees under his jacket, but the raunchy slogan on the T-shirt sent the female staff from Reception to Human Resources screaming harassment. There was some justification for the reaction to the slogan that said “Sorry girls, I suck dick” which, when you think about it, is sort of inappropriate office attire. 🙂 Doug’s reaction when Beckett questioned his lack of good taste  –

“Not just a slogan,” he murmured mischievously. “Call it a reference. Maybe a mission statement.”
Beckett made a small, gasping sound.
“Lunch?” Doug raised his eyebrows. He grinned broadly and licked his lips. “Like now?”
Beckett coughed as if he knew Doug wasn’t just referring to a club sandwich.

This led to sex in Beckett’s office, which led to sex in an elevator filled with people, (one of the funnier incidents between these two), to sex in the boardroom, sex in the staff restaurant  ….. are you seeing a pattern here? There was Work-Beckett and Play-Beckett but the two seemed to be aligned like the stars most of the time and it was hard to tell them apart, because Beckett could not say no to Doug who was determined to have his way with him at work. Poor Beckett was just putty in Doug’s hands, or maybe it wasn’t putty in Doug’s hands or mouth. 🙂

The office sex went on for a few days and Beckett received his second reprimand in less than a week, which should have given him a clue regarding his job security. However, he didn’t seem capable of thinking with his big head as the t-shirt slogans became even raunchier and more inviting and Doug suited actions to words. I don’t want to give away too much because you deserve to read the slogans the first time in the book; I will only say that What Not To Wear is one of the funniest books I have read in a while.

I liked this story a lot although I thought it was not as plot intensive as Clare’s other books. In addition, the protagonists were having so much sex it was hard to get to know them well, except towards the end when they were a little serious. 

Both characters were three dimensional and they clearly loved each other, but I wish that there were more intimate moments between them when they weren’t thinking of sex or actually having sex, so that I could get into their heads. The most significant evolution in their relationship appeared to be with Beckett who had become a different man when Doug came along and changed the boredom that his life had been before. As for Doug, he didn’t know what he had done in a previous life to deserve someone as wonderful as Beckett in this one.

What Not to Wear is low on angst and high on humour. This book is a fun read with loads of sex, and slogans on apparel that will make you split your sides laughing. You should head for What Not To Wear if you’re looking for a high octane, entertaining ride. Definitely recommended.


I live in Canada and I love big dogs, music, movies, reading and sports – especially baseball


  • Hi Wave,

    You’ve certainly piqued my interest. I love a good laugh and now I really have to know what those T shirts say! Thanks for the great review. I’m sure everyone who reads this will be rushing to get the book too.

    • TJ
      Those T-shirts are the bomb. I would like you to make one up and send me a picture of you in it so that you could be one of the Friday Guys. 🙂 The book itself is a lot of fun too, with mucho sex.

      • Wave,

        I think I may be waaay too old to wear something like that. I’m trying for classy middle age. I don’t know if I’m succeeding, but I am trying. 😉

        And I shudder to imagine me as a Friday Guy. I’d have to take me home!

        • TJ
          IF you do decide to wear one of those “classy” T-shirts and your bell bottomed pants and send me a photo, I promise not to share it with anyone , except maybe Ethan. 🙂 Of course, sharing it with him is the same as putting it in a publc restroom.

          • LOL. Now I keep picturing myself in that ridiculous get up. Thanks Wave. And I wouldn’t put anything past Ethan. 🙂

    • Leslie
      This will definitely add some humour to your day. I didn’t know that Clare had it in her to write a book like What Not To Wear. LOL

        • Clare
          Ruined your reputation? That assumes that you had one to begin with. 🙂 Kidding!! It was great to see this side of the prim English miss. I want to use some of those slogans on my tees but I don’t think I would be allowed to walk down the street without being arrested. 🙂

  • Simsala
    Trust me, you’ll have no difficulty understanding the humour in What Not To Wear because Doug is not exactly subtle. You will really enjoy this book.

    I think I screwed up, Simsala, and deleted your comment by mistake. 🙁

  • A lovely treat to find this in my daily blog visit! I’m very glad you enjoyed it ^_~. I think we all need some hot ‘n happy sometimes :).

    Many thanks for the review, and I hope readers have fun with the story!

    • Clare
      There is no doubt that the readers will enjoy this story. I kept laughing when I should have been concentrating on what I was going to say in the review, it was that funny.
      Thanks for a terrific read. 🙂

  • Sound’s great! Clare’s got such a variety of styles that she can call on with her writing and I’m glad she’s written a humourous one which shows off her great sense of humour. This is going on the TBR pile :).

    • Jen
      I know how much you love Clare’s books and I think this one is definitely different. I had so much fun that I read it again after I reviewed it. 🙂

    • Lily
      It is a fun read. I couldn’t get over Clare’s sense of humour and don’t forget the sex – I know you love it. 🙂


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