Frottage: According to the Urban Dictionary, frottage is defined as:
Frot: “Used in the gay community as a term for an activity involving sexual gratification by rubbing that occurs between two men who do not wish, usually out of preference, to engage in anal intercourse.
This growing movement of men into frot who disown anal sex is not simply a matter of sexual taste. It goes farther than that, for it’s a rejection of the overly and unhealthily feminized self-image of gay men that has dominated our lives for generations”
“A sexy act between two men that involves them being naked, and rubbing their penises together. It can involve one’s hand, trying to bring the two together for pleasure, but isn’t always a necessity in the act.” OR
Frottage, also known as dry humping, is sex without penetration where both partners rub or grind on each other to achieve an orgasm. This can be done either clothed or unclothed and can be achieved genital to genital or genital to other body parts. Frottage can be used as foreplay before anal sex or as the primary means of intimacy.
The highlighted description above is my favourite. 🙂
So now we know what frottage is, but why don’t we read more about it in M/M romances? These books are about gay men who in RL practice frotting a lot. Is the absence of frotting due to not enough authors knowing about it? I think it’s pretty hot and sensuous whenever I read about it, and I’ve always wondered why there isn’t more frotting in M/M.
Why am I writing about frotting today? Because TJ, one of the guest reviewers who is a very cool gay dude, said this in a recent review of Out of Bounds by Viki Lyn:
Alone in the fields, Ti makes a move on Chandler and they end up frotting. (Boy, I love a good frot! And it was pretty sexy to read about. Why isn’t there more frottage in m/m books?) Sorry, back to the review – I got distracted by the hot men rubbing off.
Tj went on to plead:
As for frottage, please sir may I have more? It’s a sadly under represented practice that I think most men have enjoyed at some point.
If TJ got excited reading about it, imagine how excited he gets practicing it. 🙂 Other readers, gay and straight, male or female, would probably react the same way authors.
Buda, another male reviewer on the site (he asked me not to tell you his sexual orientation because it’s a big sekkrit, but I will say that his SO’s name is Bruce and he has a goatee) 🙂 emailed me about another book that also had a bit of frotting. Here’s what he said:
“…. it’s hot as all hell. In fact I just read a novella where the guys get all distracted by each other as they’re walking down the street, duck into an alley and whoo-baby! 🙂 (I just checked–it was “Get What You Need” by Janey Chapel where the guys ducked into an alleyway because they couldn’t wait) . Oh! And Yay for hot frot! 🙂
So it seems that guys really get off on this stuff, going by Buda’s reaction, because it got him going – not that he needs much, apparently. I wonder if there is an alleyway near his house. 🙂 He also reminded me that there might have been a bit of frottage in A Dangerous Thing, book 2 in the Adrien English Mysteries. (He probably re-reads certain sections of the book to satisfy his kink.) LOL
I did a bit of research – you know how I love research – and although most of the pictures could not be posted because they are way too raunchy!! here are a few comments from various sites:
Frot to me is more akin to making love. Kissing, holding, rubbing, caressing, muscle/body worship, erotic wrestling. True intimacy.
Full body grinding is the hottest. Lips2lips, chest2chest, nipples2nipples, cock2cock, and balls2balls.
I love kissing and frottage … in underwear (esp tidy whities),
in jeans, or in the nude. i also hump mattresses, LOL
so yah, grinding is the best!
I love grinding, man to man, cock to cock, balls to balls. love lots of kissing and foreplay, undressing each other, hands and lips everywhere, then full body contact and rubbing and grinding together in underwear or gear, pouch to pouch, then finally totally naked full body grinding and humping, ………
Now I’m getting hot. 🙂
So authors, why don’t you write more frottage in your M/M romances to spice things up? Anal and oral sex, great as they are, sometimes need a bit more excitement under the sheets or on top of them.