Title: By Fairy Means or Foul: A Starfig Investigations Novel
Author: Meghan Maslow
Publisher: Self Published
Release Date: September 29, 2017
Genre(s): Paranormal M/M
Page Count: 280
Reviewed by: Susan
Heat Level: 3 flames out of 5
Rating: 1 stars out of 5
The last thing half-dragon, half-fairy private investigator Twig Starfig wants to do is retrieve a stolen enchanted horn from a treacherous fae, but there’s no denying the dazzlingly gorgeous unicorn who asks Twig to do just that. Literally, no denying, because compelling the reluctant detective is all part of a unicorn’s seductive magic.
To add to his woes, Twig is saddled with the unicorn’s cheeky indentured servant, Quinn Broomsparkle. Dragons are supposed to want to eat humans, but Twig’s half-dragon side only wants to gobble up Quinn in a more . . . personal way. Making matters worse, it’s obvious the smokin’ hot but untrustworthy sidekick is hiding something. Something big. And not what’s in his trousers. In the PI business, that means trouble with a capital Q.
Throw in gads of zombies, a creepy ghost pirate ship, a malfunctioning magic carpet, and Twig’s overbearing fairy father’s demands to live up to the illustrious Starfig name. Naturally, an old but abiding enemy chooses this time to resurface, too. Those inconveniences Twig can handle. The realization he’s falling for a human who isn’t free to return his affections and whose life may hang on the success of his latest case?
Not so much.
Wow, I didn’t expect it, but I kind of hated this book. You know when you read a book that you really don’t like and it makes you frustrated and angry and sad and makes you question all your life choices. Yeah, that was me last night when I was reading this.
This had all the ingredients of an amazing book. But it wasn’t the book for me..
That was mostly because of 3 things.
The first is that I expected this book to be funny. But characters with funny names does not a funny book make. It was like the author just decided to think up all this crazy OTT stuff and put it in this book (I especially cringed at the virgin sprite who called Twig ‘Fucko’. Yeah, so not funny). But there were no jokes, no funny one liners, nothing. It was pretty depressing actually.
The second thing were Twig and Quinn. I didn’t like them. Simple as that. Quinn was sold as a sex slave when he was 19 because when he didn’t become a wizard like everyone expected, he had to pay off his debt of magic school. And what really bothered me was how casual both Quinn and Twig were about that. Quinn was loaned out to Twig and they both knew he had to go back to being a sex slave and to being abused when their time was up, and yet they never talked about getting Quinn out in the first half of this book. Especially Twig accepted all this way too easily.
Quinn even tells Twig how he will get punished when he gets back by being loaned out to a whore house and how his master will take his voice away so he can’t scream while everyone is raping him. Quinn knows because he already endured this. You know what Twig said? Well, at least you will be free in a couple of years right, after your debt is paid? But apparently Quinn’s debt is so great he will never be free. And still Twig is not coming up with some sort of rescue plan for Quinn!!! WTH man?!? Aren’t you supposed to be the hero in this? Or at least care about what happens to Quinn? I felt as if Twig only thought about himself and how everything would affect him.
And then the third thing. The relationship itself. This is not a cute sweet romance. No, these guys fight, are mad at each other or trying to keep their distance for the most part of this book. Especially Twig, who is angry that Quinn has power over him (Quinn is not abusing this power and doesn’t even want it), so Twig decides to show Quinn who is the one in control here! Nothing really happens, don’t worry, but there was so much anger, it was awful. And Twig does (deliberately) hurt Quinn with the things he says. Ugh I hated them both right then. I would have hexed Twig into a twig right then and there.
It is clear from the start that Twig didn’t want anything to do with the human sex slave. He didn’t even want to rescue him from a life of abuse. He also didn’t want him as a mate, no matter how strongly his dragon wanted it. Twig just wanted to live his own life and not take care of someone else. Well, Twig, you should have just gone with that then.