As You Are

16 comments

• 

  Okay, I’ve been waffling about purchasing this story and it’s now been decided. Yep! I love way out there irreverence and am always up for reading quirky comedic stories. It will be the first book by Ethan Day that I’ll have read…..so….!

  Oh yes, I’m in Iowa, one of the few states where same-sex marriage is legal. Who’d a thunk it??!! Here’s hoping our upcoming Legislature focuses on an important issue, i.e. the budget, and let it be!! Happy Holidays!

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  I’m so happy you asked me that Wave. Gay Day is apparently this coming Sunday. It’s always the last Sunday of the month — I totally thought I had another week!

  You saved me from a very rushed and panicked Friday/Saturday!

  Ethan

• 

  I’m a little frazzled tonight as I received a box of print copies for Dreaming of You. My very first print book, so to say I’m a little fuzzy with awe and yummy shockiness would be an understatement.

  Yes Wave!! You most definitely should be on the Facebook! Great way to promo your site and it’s content.

  And Leslie and I are most definitely friends — how could I not love someone who has their own opinions yet has no problem thoughtfully listening to the opinions of others. Very classy behavior.

  Wave — it’s not me!! You simply have to stop confusing me with my evil twin! : )

  Thank you for stopping by Kathy! If you haven’t spent much time here in the past I think you’ll discover a really fun site filled with a monster load of yummy content.

  • 

    Ethan
    I guess you now want me to buy a copy of your print book.:-D I just might.

    **
    I have no more time left for Facebook. I decided that Livejournal and Twitter were going to be it for me.

    **

    I might consider joining your Group just for Gay Days.:) I’ll write you offline.

• 

  I’m probably a day, or two, late ~ par for the course ~ but I have to admit to being fascinated by the diversity of the two reviews of Ethan’s As You Are.
  I will say straight out that I’m a huge fan of Ethan’s and have never found anything to dislike in anything he writes; I have a slightly skewed sense of humour that resonates with his writing… okay, my sense of humour can be very skewed.

  With your review Leslie at first I wanted to rant… another foible of mine, but at no time did I ever feel that there was any derogatory comments or put-downs. Just an honest opinion from someone who sees things their way… and I do understand different viewpoints and opinions.

  I’m a reader plain and simple; I do reviews for books that I read, but it’s never done from a technical point ’cause I just don’t have what it takes to do that… it’s not also in my makeup, at least most of the time.

  Just wanted to chime in and say how much I’ve enjoyed the discussion, and banter, here and I’ve definitely found a place that I’ll be coming back to again and again. It’s also really interesting seeing someone else’s viewpoint AND getting the background on it.
  Well thought out, well presented and very fair… what more could a reader / fan want?

• 

  Hey Wave, come join us at Facebook. It’s a pretty fun place to be. Right now, for me, it is a major source of information for the No on 1 campaign (our same-sex marriage question that is on the ballot here in Maine) which is helpful. But it’s a good way to connect with friends, too.
  –
  L

• 

  Leslie
  I understand where you were coming from and that you were not slamming Ethan’s editor who from all accounts is pretty good at her job.
  *
  I’m not on Facebook. Does that mean that I’m outside the “friendship ring”?
  *
  Ethan, when is the next Gay Day?
  *
  No hugs to you from me until you stop throwing things at me. I can still see you in my rearview mirror:-D

• 

  And just a note to anyone who is reading this — Ethan and I have publicly acknowledged that there is no fight here since we have just become friends on Facebook. In 2009, what higher arbiter of friendship exists? LOL (I say that seriously…)…
  *
  Big hugs to you, Ethan.
  *
  L

• 

  Thanks Leslie!

  No…I never took your comments to be derogatory in terms of my editor. I understood the point you were coming from which was not meant as a slam, but merely as idea’s you thought I may find useful in the future.

  Each author does have to answer to themselves at the end of the day. You have to trust yourself enough to know when things feel right, yet be malleable to the extent that you can work with others. A good idea is a good idea, whether it comes from you, your editor, or a beta reader.

  I too would be interested in other peoples opinions who’ve read the book. Mainly because I made a crack in the book where Andy states on their first date that their political differences sounded like the tag line to a romance novel. I kinda thought that might make for a fun book. But — maybe not? LOL!

  Wave — I’ll stop throwing the mud if you quit shoving me back into the puddle. ; ) LOL!

• 

  For the record, I was speaking about editor/beta reader in general, and not commenting that I thought the whoever worked with Ethan on this book did not do his/her job. So if it came across that way, I apologize, that was not my intent. Also, I should clarify: I am speaking from the perspective of a developmental editor, not necessarily the editor from a publisher’s office.
  *
  As my friend Mark says, authors can get input from a variety of people but at the end of the day, the author needs to remain true to his/her vision, and I respect that.
  *
  L

• 

  It was interesting for me to read both perspectives.

  **

  We had a long “discussion” on the old blog about Ethan’s first book Self Preservation where there were also duelling reviews, and a few comments about the role of his editor. Unfortunately many of these comments are lost because the other reviewer, Emmy, took her reviews down when she left. However, if you care to, you can check out the remaining comments https://gaybook.reviews/?p=348
  **

  I think you will understand that we have all been over this ground before with a great deal of laughter. It’s too bad that all the comments are no longer here but you’ll get a flavour of what was said just from reading what is on the remaining SP post where everyone, even Treva, got into the action.

  **

  As I said before, Ethan marches to a different drummer and his books are certainly unique. They may not be The Great American Novel but his characters sure are fun even though they may give you, an editor, nightmares.:)

  **

  He’s still throwing mud at my windshield!! Damn it Ethan – you have to stop that now, I can’t afford the cleaning bills. :-DDD

• 

  Hi Ethan,
  Thanks for your reply and thoughtful comment. I appreciate it!
  *
  Re: the dance club…no, I didn’t know that about their schedules (I don’t get out much these days…LOL). But that could have been an easy fix, make some statement about “As Julian helped the others close up for the night, he sighed to himself. “I’ve got such a great schedule…I don’t have to be back to work until Thursday,” and then some mention that the club is only open 3-4 days/wk. That would do it.
  *
  Re: the R&R…yes, that was it. I didn’t want to be specific as to spoil it for others but I am glad you brought it up. First off, I am here in Ground Zero (Maine–same-sex marriage is on the ballot) and right now I am ready to eviscerate all fundamentalist religious types, so you won’t get any argument from me about their hatefulness and hypocrisy. That said, I have heard from many readers that they really hate it when an author interjects political commentary, a personal agenda, etc. into a book. Now…to your credit, you did it with a light touch and yes, you made it amusing. And no, I didn’t take offense, but I could see how someone else might, and I was trying to point that out in this review. I think in the context of a very light, funny book assigning these “flaws” to Andy were just too intrusive. I completely understand where you are coming from and yes, I completely understand the act/art of writing as cathartic and liberating. I think that if I were your editor/beta reader I’d say, “Okay, Ethan, nice job…have you gotten that out of your system? Good, now rewrite it,” and then have you turn Andy into a lousy dresser. And then you would argue with me and we’d go back and forth and eventually find the right balance of what exactly should be Andy’s “flaw.” That’s the process of writing and the part I like (yes, I’m an editor so of course I like it!).
  *
  Now, granted, I may be totally off the mark here (although I really don’t think I am) and I’d actually be interested if others have any thoughts on this issue. But, I will stand by my point that I have had many readers say to me that they don’t like intrusive agenda stuff, and that is the place where I am coming from with respect to this comment.
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  Overall, I did enjoy the book and I think the vast majority of people who are regulars on this site would enjoy it, too. (Except Erastes. She doesn’t read contemporaries. LOL). I have no problem recommending it (unlike some of the other books that I have given the same rating too. For those, I think readers need to be more selective as to whether they would like it or not). I intended my comments to be helpful for future writing endeavors because I really think you have a knack for light comedy and I would like to read more.
  *
  L

• 

  Hi Leslie

  First, let me say thank you for both reading and reviewing my book. Regardless of the outcome, I’m flattered you actually took the time to begin with.

  I also appreciate that there were details you felt were missing, like the fact that Julian only worked one night. From my perspective, many of the larger Dance clubs – at least in the part of the country I live in – are only open three or four nights a week. Mainly because the crowds just aren’t there to justify the cost of being open during the week. Probably something I should or could have added to the book, which just didn’t occur to me because I suppose on some level I thought it was like that everywhere. That being said, I understand how details such as this can become distracting and I appreciate you pointing them out to me.

  On a second note, I can with all certainty tell you that no amount of beta readers or mentor’s would have convinced me to remove the bits you found possibly offensive about the character of Andy (I’m assuming you’re referring to the Baptist & Log Cabin Republican bits).

  The main reason for this is because — well for many gay men — these would be legitimate subject matters they might have issues with. That isn’t to say that every Baptist or every Republican out there is anti-gay. But the organizations themselves aren’t exactly known for their glowing support of the LGBT community. Nor am I saying every gay man would take issue, but a good amount of us would at the very least have second thoughts.

  I in no way intended these things to be taken in an offensive way. To be perfectly honest with you, being gay and having been raised southern baptist myself — I can assure you I have plenty of particularly heinous memories with which I could have chosen to pull from. Of course that would have made for a very different book.

  For anyone who may have taken offense, let me assure you it was most definitely unintentional on my part. I hesitated even bringing this up at all, since I felt it made up such a tiny bit of the book. But since you seemed to genuinely take offense I felt I needed to address it.

  If anything my hope would have been for people to look at these issues from the perspective of a person like Julian, to put themselves in his shoes and maybe see them in a way they’d not considered before. Above all, they were intended to make you laugh.
  We all carry around our personal demons. And writing is sometimes more than simply the construction of plot, character and foreshadowing. Sometimes for the author, it is as well, part therapy. It was a little cathartic for me to take something which was anything but fun for me growing up and turn it into something that made me laugh. Helps take some of the sting out those memories and allows me to let pieces of it go — lightens the baggage. : )

  In terms of the few political jabs I took license with — I seriously doubt anyone would need to gird their loins over them. Taking into account the shenanigans of our last presidential race, I sincerely doubt they’d raise much of a blip on the harsh meter.

  So, I’m sorry if you feel these things were truly that much an error. But for me, they’re simply part of what makes me who I am. Things that affected my life and aided in constructing the person I am today. Tiny bits of me that made it into Julian.

  I do again, sincerely appreciate hearing your point of view and I hope you feel the same about what I’ve written here. Thank you again for reviewing my book and I certainly hope it won’t be the last.

  Ethan

• 

  Hi Guys
  Having read both reviews I can see where your differences in rating are because of your points of view.

  **

  Lynn, I think you’re looking at As you Are the way I would, strictly as a reader, though with no less of a critical eye than Leslie.

  **
  Leslie I think you reviewed the book from an “editorial” background which gives the author a few more points to ponder, and perhaps work on for his next book if he feels so inclined.

  **

  On reading both reviews it seems that each of you hit on the points in the story that struck you as being either very funny, or were too in your face and therefore grated a little.

  **
  Ethan has his own style and the reason I love his books is that he writes the stories he wants to tell. I think he’s very talented but he definitely marches to a different drummer, which could be good or bad depending on perspective.

  ***
  You guys did a great job on this duelling review and I hope Ethan is pleased.

• 

  Hi Lynn,

  Thanks for your comment. Yes, this is the first book of Ethan’s that I have read. I was familiar with the others–I think he posts on a mailing list that I am on–but I just hadn’t gotten around to reading them.
  *
  I did enjoy this book. I feel a little like a teacher grading a paper. I didn’t want to give an A because I think the author can do better. But this is certainly an entertaining book and I would recommend it.
  *
  L

• 

  Hi Leslie. Great, clear review. As I often say about us readers, I love how we all take things differently. As you can see in my review of this, many of the things you said didn’t bother me at all and added to the overall charm of the book, but I can see how some of the things that you mention could bother some readers. I, too, visualized it as a movie (as I did his last one).
   
  Question: is this the first book of his that you read? I ask because it’s a little different than the other two in that it is much more…in-your-face comedic.

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